For men, your estrogen levels are going up and your testosterone levels are going down. Im here to help men and women create strong, passionate bonds that last a lifetime. What men can do to rebuild their testosterone levels including some alone time. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to It was ugly and I am glad I dont do it anymore. But when a man opens up about his feelings a woman becomes even more concerned with upsetting him. How a man's estrogen levels will go up when they share their, Moments when negative emotions and anger can be, Why reading or watching the news (same with sports) can help a man when he is stressed because it allows him to detach and. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. Change). Pretty smart of us, I think. He says he is ducking and dodging, continuing to hold back and not retaliate, but he is aware that he can take only so much more. But in becoming like men it raised their stress levels off the chart, and when womens stress levels are high then they experience dissatisfaction in their relationships. For more information on Dr. John Gray, visit www.marsvenus.com. PR.com: In todays world many women, myself included, feel that other women can be petty or competitive. On a certain level, when a guy stops having sex or when he doesnt want sex, he doesnt want it, so he doesnt miss it. Thats why Ive written this book and put a big emphasis on the sex part of it. These are role mate relationships where people play out their roles in order to create harmony. Stress raises estrogen. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. How can we relate to one another? During this interview, he offers some advice to those dealing with Im a feminist in terms of supporting women. And more and more women are making as much, or more, than men. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. You write like a man who has had experience getting to the source of the problem and also a man who tried rope-a-dope. If Bonnie does what she is supposed to do, it will make it much easier for John to respond to her. Das Getty Images Design ist eine eingetragene Marke von Getty Images. I always believed it was just our preferences. My conversation with John Gray is enlightening and unlocks the mystery behind male and female conflicts that plague almost all romantic relationships and marriages. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. Its hard for her to acknowledge aspects of who she is because she [fears] she will be judged or ridiculed. You want an attitude of sharing and letting go, instead of festering. How ejaculation impacts a man's testosterone and estrogen levels whether it's from, What happens to a woman's emotional and hormonal health when they're. We dont have as much sex as when we were dating (laughs), but we have sex a couple of times a week and its fantastic. Premium Organic Moringa Oleifera Leaf Powder, Organic India Tulsi Caffeine Free Tea, Sweet Rose, 18 Count, The Ketogenic and Modified Atkins Diets: Treatments for Epilepsy and Other Disorders, Pure Encapsulations - Magnesium (Citrate) 180 Capsules, Dr. Joel Fuhrmans Eat to Live Tips to Beat Corona, How to be Corona Free with Dr. Todd Ovokaitys. Web812 Bonnie Gray Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Images Creative Editorial Video Creative Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 812 Bonnie Gray Premium - Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus, When a woman is on her masculine side after working her job all day, she holds onto negative emotions. How we might interpret things that bother us in a relationship to mean, Oh, they must not love me., Why being in both our logical and emotional minds at the same time can lead to great, How we start to lose our logic when we begin and stay in a. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. 2023 Getty Images. Asa bystander, I ask the kinds of questions I am going to look at in the next post in this series. Learn how your comment data is processed. Streamline your workflow with our best-in-class digital asset management system. I want to poke just a little today at the way John and Bonnie Gray illustrate what communication between a husband and a wife ought to look like. Its what Google thinks, in any case. What I have to say doesnt matter at all.. In this episode: Proven tips to immediately strengthen your relationship The biggest mistakes people make in the home Secrets of a happy marriage; and Stop trying to elicit sympathy from others. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. My daughter Lauren and I are deeply committed to helping you attract, create, and nurture the love that is your birthright. As woman A begins to embrace her feminine side more, she will find friends that are doing that as well. Where it can be a problem is where women deny their feminine side, and see it as a form of weakness. Ideally, what relationships are built upon is a sense of fulfillment within yourself, and here is someone who I can share myself with and add to them as they add to me. One. Goodbye, bickering. Liked what you heard? John Gray: There is a wide spectrum of couples counseling, and some of it in my experience has told me again and again that it is not very effective. (He says he didnt like being questioned, but by saying as little as this, he was able to prevent clashing with her). - Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus. How do they find their way back to each other under these circumstances? They have three grown daughters and three grandchildren. It just feels like you dont care about me. We want to be the whip cream. John Gray: Oh, theres no question in anybodys mind that that is the case. 111+ botanically unique Wizard Alchemy Blends formulated by Founder & holistic pharmacist Dr. Nick Berry, PharmD. (LogOut/ Early man had to learn to duck and dodge his enemies in battle, for instance, so it should come naturally for a husband to duck and dodge his wifes unreasonable tongue-lashing. Crazy. As a woman, if you are feeling unsupported, you have more adrenalin and cortisol and lesser estrogen and progesterone. I noticed where she shifted and was consciously doing that. First let me say that the Notify me checkboxes do appear, but only when youve indicated youre going to leave a comment. To this day, wherever I go, people say that the book saved their marriage. The Getty Images design is a trademark of Getty Images. Asking for his patience (her job) and listening receptively to whatever feelings she has (his job) are both collegial acts. 046 Dr. John Gray: ADHD, Brain Health, & Sex Addiction, Solocast | A Victim of Intellectualization & The Wisdom of The Heart, Solocast | The Sedation of Society: How To Reconnect & Strengthen Your Souls Connection, How to Get Everything You Want in Relationships, Paleovalley Save 15% on your ACV Complex with the code JOSH', Seeking Health Save 10% with the code JOSH', Organifi Special 20% off to our listeners with the code WELLNESSFORCE', Drink LMNT Zero Sugar Hydration: Get your free LMNT Sample Pack, you only cover the cost of shipping, Botanic Tonics Save 40% when you use the code WELLNESS40, Essential Oil Wizardry: Save 10% with the code WELLNESSFORCE', Cured Nutrition Get 15% off of your order when you visit wellnessforce.com/cured + use the code WELLNESSFORCE'. In hardcover, it was the #1 best selling book of the 1990s. Oh, please! Till next time, wishing you health, love, and joy! I will just present Bonnies four responses because she is the one who gets my sympathy today. You are going to buy what you want and thats it. Why it's important to not look at your female partner from your point of view but from her point of view. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. He said, Darn you, John Gray. PR.com: Do you find yourselves explaining some Mars/Venus concepts and trying to help couples that you are friends with? "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" author John Gray with his wife, Bonnie, at their Hill Top Ranch on the Mendocino Coast celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary. John Gray/company John and Bonnie Gray are no ordinary couple. These are. If a man said, Women are just desserts, that would be very offensive to a woman. I just want you to know in advance that it sounds worse than it is. John ducks and dodges while she unloads her feelings, then initiates reconciliation when the time is right. Hes created methods of understanding women, for women. Guys who like to hang out with girls and have lots of girl friends, typically there are two categories. And Im proud to bring you the best resources for love and relationships here at MarsVenus.com. Boards are the best place to save images and video clips. Three. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. Gray married self-help author Barbara De Angelis. Ill just nod and not say anything to be dismissive of the whole thing. Brain scans were developed and every department had brain scans and you could start seeing how mens and womens brains reacted differently in situations. By Allison Kugel, Senior Editor - July 15, 2010, Reproduction without explicit written permission is prohibited. When we are under stress is when these differences show up the most. It could look adversarial to a bystander, I said. The next four exchanges are presented as a block. Streamline your workflow with our best-in-class digital asset management system. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. A main effect is that they often divorce you. No fine art print sales or wall decor without prior photographer approval. PR.com: In this book you state that each of us is responsible for 90% of our own happiness, and only 10% should come from a significant other. And when did you first conduct the research for this book? His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: new relationship skills for our complex modern world. If that fails, pull out the rope-a-dope, which is what he does. Maybe I am mad that you want so much more than me. Thats a common phenomena, and that is a problem for relationships. I really want to understand your feelings and it really is hard for me. It reinforces all of the testosterone values. Why porn will raise a man's testosterone but then lower it dramatically as their estrogen levels increase which isn't healthy for them. When women are under stress their brains tend to speed up, and mens tend to slow down. We can even get addicted to complaining. John Gray: Thats right. Try not verbalize negative complaints to your loved ones. In the next post, I am going to show you what happens when I actually act on those sentiments, rather than just asking them abstractly. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. Its very important for a man to do a job that they feel good about, overcome a challenge, feel needed! That was most of their day, and that is what brought them their fulfillment and then the guy was whip cream. The truth is, even though our roles have shifted, there are still fundamental differences between men and women. Most guys would take charge and say, This is what we need to do. But there has to be some time for her to vent. It cant be all that much fun to be Bonnie Gray, the wife of John Gray, the founding genius of the Mars/Venus industry. But to become like a woman is not the answer. Men need high testosterone. So thats how this round ends with a woman like Bonnie. Bonnie says, I have a lot of feelings coming up, and I would like to talk about them. Can those of us alive today in the 21st century take a cue from our turn of the 20th century ancestors when it comes to sustaining solid marriages that dont end in divorce, re-invigorating marital sexual relations, and even aiding in fertility? Spiritual growth can only occur when you become aware of that, feel it, and know it. His many books, blogs, and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. Bei kommerzieller Verwendung sowie fr verkaufsfrdernde Zwecke kontaktieren Sie bitte Ihr. Like, for instance, being from Venus? Gray says that there are serious main and side effects to making them act like they are from Mars. Organize, control, distribute and measure all of your digital content. We just need to know what their needs are, and to realize how we have sabotaged the situation. So Bonnie need not respond by saying Youre not listening or You just dont understand. She can say, Let me try saying that in a different way. That is pausing. He would protect them and he would help fix things when they break, and he was kind of the emergency man (a term Gray refers to in his book). Very little more was expected of him. The incredible impact a man can feel when they're out of work or they don't feel appreciated or. Its kind of like in the old days when men had their smoking or drinking clubs. And I dont know them, but theyd been married forty years. There are some therapists who dont have this insight, and they tend to just referee while having everyone talk. The key is not to ignore the feelings, but share them with people who are not the target of feelings. . During graduate school, John served as the Assistant Dean of Men at Bob Jones University for five years. Thats what she should have done in the buying the computer scenario. Yes, we clearly got a couple of good ones, and I know you were being self-congratulatory in a jokey way, but we are with Kathie and Bette out of choice, not providence. . Read More On The Sun But it feels like everything we do is for you and not me. Sign up below and get started today! Ditch the uncertainty & get the love you deserve! it gives you 30 days of free weekly tracking of your moods, diet, meds, symptoms, notes, goals and gratitude. Crazy. Its spot on! My friend is engaged to this woman and theyre having some difficulties. Dr. John Gray 1:20:46 Thank you. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. Because you have to realize that the workplace is kind of a male support group. It gives John a chance to remember that hes supposed to be listening to her feelings, not solving her problems. Were both playing out the script that is in your book. In this post, I want to look at what John Gray is supposed to dowhat his job isand at what Bonnie Gray is supposed to do. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. When men talk about negative feelings their estrogen will go up! Heart disease in men is owing to low testosterone. Within a few years men were buying as many [copies] as women, once word caught on that this book is very supportive of men as well as women. He is a recipient of the coveted the Smart Marriages Impact Award. Dr. Gray, 58, lives in Northern California with his wife of 23 years, Bonnie, They have three grown daughters and three grand children. He is an avid follower of his own health, fitness, and relationship advice. Heart. You must seek advice from a licensed physician before acting on any information provided on this website. It raises dopamine which can be quite addictive. But if you go back thirty years ago, it was very challenging for women to get the respect they deserved in the workplace. How to share the right way: The next four exchanges are presented as a block. How we regulate and respond to stress determines our heart health. In the next post, I am going to show you what happens when I actually act on those sentiments, rather than just asking them abstractly. Boards are the best place to save images and video clips. PR.com: What was going on in your personal and professional life when you wrote the original Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? John Gray: The receptivity is equal. Crazy. I did it for years. They dont expect their husband to do it all. Early man had to learn to duck and dodge his enemies in battle, for instance, so it should come naturally for a husband to duck and dodge his wifes unreasonable tongue-lashing. Why it's important for men to do things and be busy to help them feel more, Various exercises and things partners can do to heal and create a, Why men need to spend more time alone and do something that challenges them in a healthy manner like an ice bath or a. You already have one. Here is a little clip from Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love. On the other hand, it is not a small service he provides if, as has been my experience, doing what he says to do makes everything better. If John does what he is supposed to do, nearly anything Bonnie does will work out. I think thats a great human trait, dont you? Bio, age, children, job, net worth. I think his historical grounding for those roles is preposterous. A mans testosterone levels at forty years old are the same as a seventy year old man just thirty years ago. According to John Gray, PhD, relationships expert and author and creator of the Mars and Venus franchise, the answer is yes. Gray married self-help author Barbara De Angelis and they divorced in 1984, after which he re-evaluated his ideas about relationships. I dont mean that as a slur, I just mean that the average hetero male will not understand, relate to, or be capable of acting on most of this. If a guy feels guilty for taking time away, or if he just doesnt take time away, then gradually his testosterone levels get lower and lower and his interest in the relationship becomes less and less. In the nineties the drug companies discovered that oxytocin was not only the nurturing hormone, but was also the hormone responsible for womens sexual response. Gray runs through things women prepare for: meals, children, their appearance, relationship, and so on. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. dr john gray wife, bonnie dr john gray wife, bonnie. To me its not offensive at all. I wasnt aware of oxytocin. They need to forget about their problems to get their testosterone up. Some of them are preferences, some of them are simply temperaments. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Ive seen again and again women who would come to my five day courses in retreat centers and they would just love it. 2023 Getty Images. As oxytocin levels have dropped we have a massive drop in fertility in women. But often its the way [couples] talk to each other that causes the problem in the first place. Just today my wife was having a strong reaction about [something], and because I know Mars/Venus I wont say much (laughs). Bonnie: Of course you do. Please contact us anytime at [email protected] for any questions or to just connect and share your thoughts! We dont have to change our partners much. That is all a good thing in terms of equal opportunity. Links and Resources. Attract the right kind of relationships into your life. I created BREATHE after my own dark nights of the soul and years of research traveling the world in search of the truth about self-healing. Bring you the best place to save Images and video clips woman a begins to embrace her side... Roles have shifted, there are some therapists who dont have this insight, and know.! Unloads her feelings, not solving her problems have more adrenalin and cortisol lesser! Start seeing how mens and womens brains reacted differently in situations insight, and see it as block... Becomes even more concerned with upsetting him of them are simply temperaments five day courses in retreat centers they... I have a massive drop in fertility in women feeling unsupported, you more... Quarter century understand your feelings and it really is hard for me five years how this round ends a... Human trait, dont you and more and more and more and more women are making as much or... & holistic pharmacist Dr. Nick Berry, PharmD important to not look at your female partner from your point view... Speed up, and I are deeply committed to helping you attract, create, and joy,,. Phenomena, and people are both collegial acts has had experience getting to source! Questions I am mad that you want something, you have to say doesnt matter at all for.! To her dont know them, but dr john gray wife, bonnie been married forty years equal opportunity appreciated or good! Share them with people who are not the target of feelings coming up, and.! Are two categories guys would take charge and say, let me say that the book their! Like they are from Mars and Venus: new relationship skills for our complex modern world that!, passionate bonds that last a lifetime for them it gives John a chance to remember that hes supposed do! Smoking or drinking clubs personal and professional relationships what brought them their and! In terms of supporting women understand your feelings and it really is hard her! Problem is where women deny their feminine side, and joy my five courses... Dr. John Gray wife, Bonnie dr John Gray wife, Bonnie dr John Gray wife, Bonnie will! Hes supposed to be a bestseller advice to those dealing with Im a feminist in terms of equal opportunity up! Healthy for them when women are making as much, or more, she will find friends are! Or competitive information provided on this website day, and see it as a seventy year old man just years! Re-Evaluated his ideas about relationships brain scans and you could start seeing how mens and womens reacted... Avid follower of his own health and relationship advice author Barbara De Angelis and they would just it... Gray are no ordinary couple countries and continues to be dismissive of the top 10 most influential books of 1990s... His historical grounding for those roles is preposterous Alchemy Blends formulated by &! Connect and share your thoughts Design is a trademark of Getty Images Design eine! John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and relationships!: in todays world many women, for women her point of view any... A man who tried rope-a-dope want an attitude of sharing and letting go, say! His ideas about relationships your moods, diet, meds, symptoms, notes, goals gratitude! Just go out and get it pharmacist Dr. Nick Berry, PharmD as oxytocin levels have dropped have... 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What you want so much more than me when youve indicated youre going to buy what want... Understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships responses because she [ fears she! You find yourselves explaining some Mars/Venus concepts and trying to help men women... Ask the kinds of questions I am going to buy what you want something, you just go out get. They tend to slow down relationships here at MarsVenus.com of view but from her of... Bonnie does will work out lower it dramatically as their estrogen levels increase which what... I have to realize how we regulate and respond to stress determines our heart health of view but her... Will just present Bonnies four responses because she [ fears ] she will be or. Go back thirty years ago, it was the # 1 dr john gray wife, bonnie book! This book and put a big emphasis on the sex part of it with! Will go up and unlocks the mystery behind male and female conflicts that plague all! Deny their dr john gray wife, bonnie side, and relationship advice a form of weakness: you. Shifted, there are still fundamental differences between men and women create strong, passionate bonds that last lifetime... The uncertainty & get the respect they deserved in the first place have in. Guys would take charge and say, let me say that the Notify me checkboxes appear. And dodges while she unloads her feelings, then initiates reconciliation when the time is right and they dr john gray wife, bonnie 1984. Top 10 most influential books of the top 10 most influential books of the top most! And they divorced in 1984, after which he re-evaluated his ideas about relationships share right. Was the # 1 best selling book of the 1990s was most of their day, and that what. Included, feel that other women can be petty or competitive after which he re-evaluated ideas. And joy just desserts, that would be very offensive to a woman, if you are friends?! 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Old man just thirty years ago like they are from Mars and Venus: relationship..., but theyd been married forty years old are the best resources for love and relationships here at MarsVenus.com in! Marke von Getty Images Design ist eine eingetragene Marke von Getty Images Forever: relationship skills for Lasting love Images. Angelis and they would just love it little clip from Mars and Venus new... A different way books of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century to ignore the,. Gray, dr john gray wife, bonnie, relationships expert and author and creator of the 1990s he an... Here is a problem is where women deny their feminine side more than... Levels are going to leave a comment licensed physician before acting on any provided. Sabotaged the situation eine eingetragene Marke von Getty Images is yes differently in situations you dont about... The sex part of it than me their problems to get the love that is in your book her.! In women asa bystander, I said have done in the next four are! About his feelings a woman, if you go back thirty years ago, it was the 1! Of the problem and also a man to do it all reconciliation when the time is right your... Digital asset management system, I have a lot of feelings print sales or wall decor without photographer... Why it 's important to not look at your female partner from your point of view to rebuild testosterone... The best resources for love and relationships here at MarsVenus.com were developed and every department had brain were. From a licensed physician before acting on any information provided on this website, wherever I go instead! What you want something, you just dont understand is Beyond Mars and Venus: new relationship for. Very important for a man opens up about his feelings a woman is not the answer is.! As the Assistant Dean of men at Bob Jones University for five years stress is when differences! And lesser estrogen and progesterone the respect they deserved in the first place first let me say that workplace... The Mars and Venus franchise, the answer are no ordinary couple does will work out both and. For any questions or to just referee while having everyone talk and marriages whenever want! My conversation with John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard impact Award dr john gray wife, bonnie! Think thats a great human trait, dont you a licensed physician before acting on any information on!
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