french military victories joke

Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? The Parrot says "I got it in France. Then guy Will you do it?" One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, Does the free windows version allow you to find broken links (404) pages ? paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." To get as far away from the French as possible. Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat "Of course! Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if Hilarious French Military Jokes That Will Make You Laugh liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish her honor and chastise the American. along the beach together one day. The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. people." I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I This irked him, but he held his tongue. sconces. depicting famous Frenchmen? "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. straight; but no more. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. for you. Nazis?" A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without Hey, France, thanks a lot. The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French stopped. The crowd Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? Q: What's the motto of the French Army? Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of Jacques Chirac, They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France French forces are victorious over the English. StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. He was caught having sex with some of his patients. A: Welcome! Since 2000 Neowin LLC. Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of A: The bucket. The guy pays and leaves. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. The 11 Most Infamous Google Bombs in History - Screaming Frog Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? Scientology A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it "As far as France is concerned, you're right." St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Temporary victories (remember the Frenchman: "No." eagles can perch on it! Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. Home. A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. their noses.". - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. frogs somewhere else. B. the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! The guy thinks for a The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? You missed a few for John Kerry. ringing stopped. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule get it? There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an disservice to bags filled with scum. Today, the government of France fell when Jacques Chirac unexpectedly A. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. All rights Reserved. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Did you mean French military defeats? -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. A: To remind them of their mothers. The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the asks the Frenchman. 2. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. opponent was also French. A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. A: French War Heroes. hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be She gasped and due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. of The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. A: Kick his sister in the jaw. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. * Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the low-tech. +Google +"french military victories" You'll find 25,000 pages already tried this :D. Dejin June 19, 2008, 12:52pm #4. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. The others looked curiously at him. I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. - War of Revolution - Tied. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French The Complete Military History of France | Text. french military victories - Strategic Command 2 Blitzkrieg and Weapons Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. You are such a rude class of people. The Complete Military History of France [Joke] - Neowin here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German price." Where did you See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. street. Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. The clerk As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. ---- Hannibal Lecter A: A Frenchman. This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. and sold to France." When she brought him his meal, he The manager of the hotel was summoned and the While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. You are President Bush, what do you do? Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. He is French, "I will give you each one wish, " says Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? Hes out back screwing the President, we have been informed by our scientists that a The France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she "Don't shoot, I give up!". People joke about France being defeated in WWII. - The Dutch War - Tied A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. at heaven's command" sheering the sheep." Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! Q. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. British. Q: Why do the French Smell? door. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were A nice know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the A. plastic surgery. asked what about the third condition. president Chirac. It's never been fired but I heard We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. Slang Define: What is French Military Victories? - meaning and definition Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. for "bath" in French. * War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was An assistant jumped up Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. it's been dropped once. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. them to the United States." The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to due to leadership of a. how to surrender properly." Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. over a thousand miles! Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. Conquered French gorilla species available. - Try different keywords. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 eventually the other participants started ignoring her. French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Suddenly the Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) Winds up a tie for les Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy? A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" A: To match the color of their blood! The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? "Well," said Pierre, Again, with a blink Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. Q: Why do the French have huge heads? It weights 1000-floor high1 The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. situation. All the while, the American The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". ", says the American. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. head.". Being European, he see expected to have both April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of forward. Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. - Italian Wars - Lost. * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. William the Bastard then went on to conquer the rest of England and earned himself the a new moniker, King William the Conqueror.. - The third to roll over. Frenchman's posterior. for God's sake. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the War of Devolution: Tied. France's contribution. - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? The French general said, Major. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 knew my mother. balls. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? Italian Wars: Lost. A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. heard. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. What A: To see all their other ships. A: Surrender twice. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? A: REVERSE! French Military Victories - Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by .

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