Look, Mom, Dad, lets just be real. Thats when I realized theres a generational gap between us and our parents. Thirteen episodes for this kid? AP Calc? So Im going to be with him because its right. I hear a voice. How is this possible? Were sitting on my living room table. At that age, thats a lot. Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. Alright, maybe I didnt cure it, but everyone has a purpose. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Oh, my God, Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now. Oh, they made it! Mrs Reed opens the door. And Aisha hates that story. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King scores a 8.56 digit binge rating out. Its a big deal for me. Theyre like, Oh, this is a cartoon Ganesh. I run, but my dad beats me to the phone. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV. But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. Send that shit right now! I was like, No! Im like, Yo, when did Home Depot Dad become Danny Tanner? Thirty for 30? So for her first birthday, he wanted it to be special. We get in the Camry, were driving from Davis to Sacramento. He implored Minhaj to be the bigger person. But what makes matters worse is, you had me socially crucified in front of everybody. To which she replies, I know! I could feel it, like hed slapped me in a previous life. I love that so much. Hes been slapped on camera. Thank you. And it always sucks. Every br0wn birthday party. Its March Madness for nerds. Why didnt you forgive her? he asks his son. I was like, Oscar speech, go. Spray on the Michael Jordan cologne. I call my girl. ' And Im looking at her, and Im so embarrassed. I had to bring it back here. Im like, Whatever, its not going to happen. Long time no see, indeed. [talks gibberish in high-pitched voice] Seven years. Were all going to prom? If you go home and are honest, your parents will be like, Even though I disagree with you, I respect your candor. Are you kidding me? Copyright Fandango. The past is the past. Dad walks through. Thank God Jeff took her. Cloth interior for life. This is House of Cards. I was very emo. I want to be Batman. Well, of course. Im going to fucking kill you. Click. Please reference Error Code 2121 when contacting customer service. Thats on you, thats not on me. Why do you do this to your daughters? But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. She has a PhD. Say it. A car almost hits me. Fuck this, man! The set went viral. Stop marching. Cinemark Incredible! , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Give me the Rajesh Rengatramana motherfucking-jananam. Like, No! God is laughing at me. Late at night on AIM, back and forth, back and forth You guys dont know this. So you could pick the door handle for the bathroom. [laughter] And I was like, Why dont you have me pick out the toilet? For this, we honor it with a Peabody Award. By creating an account, you agree to the Its a very heavy ring. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. Who was I to ruin their picture-perfect celebration? Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. Status updates, away messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men. Get in the Camry. The immigrant car of choice. #its a small world. Lets move on to Aisha., One day I get an email from my manager. Crush our enemies.. Go for it. See you next week. Therapy is bullshit. Lives in Manhattan. Duh, we knew that. Im trying to talk to somebody! Thats how we would communicate. Youre good. And were about to pull up and we get to the door, and my dad is about to ring the doorbell, when he says the sentence that is the killer of every br0wn kids dream. Does the Catholic Church really believe women are people? Terms and Policies I put on my Ghostbusters proton pack. So by my senior year of high school, I had yet to go to a school dance, I had been cut from the basketball team, and I had just got off this medicine called Accutane so my skin and face was peeling. Ages zero through 30, No girls! At 35, Why cant you talk to girls? Thats basically it. Thats the price we pay for being here. Thats when I was like, We really are from two different generations. BMX bikes aside. So some of you guys dont know. Slapping is important. Her family saw stuff about us. You want me to change my life for Naila Aunty? Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India. Boom! Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! No one ever did that at my school. People here with girlfriends are like, Babe, its different with you. Youre lying and thats okay. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. The fobbiest thing ever. They love bottling them up deep down, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant. They wheel him into surgery and I hand the clipboard to the doctor. I need her, Dad. Weve got to clean this up. Zen! Which is terrifying to say. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. Dave Chappelle delivers a speech at his prestigious alma mater that reflects on his comedy roots, his rise to fame and why artists should never behave.. I hated her. All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway. Go be president. He drags in this big box and goes, Aisha, open the box. She cuts open the box and unfurls one of the flaps, and I see Toys R Us emblazoned on one of the flaps. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. So for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room. I want to be a family. I didnt know how to feel, until this. Sweetie, we love you, we think youre great. One shot, Eight Mile. Ive got to go back to LA. Well, Ill see you Monday, right? I was like, Why? Well, you work here. I cant die. Toys R Us. Im like, Dude, what are you doing? camasunary fishing lodge; crookston, mn obituaries Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. Please dont say anything. She looks up from her book, and shes like, You know what? Me, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to the prom? I had a question. I jump off the roof. Nine in a box for just ten bucks. Growing up, we just want that co-sign. To tell them youre good enough. Hes like, Hanson, this is not funny. He walks over to the board, he pulls it down. And I was like, You knew my situation. Okay. When you see someone from your past, all of a sudden, youre that age again. You have selective memory. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity rating: 15 | 1h 12m | Stand-up Comedy Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. In his story about his high school prom date, Minhaj used the pseudonym "Bethany Reed" instead of her real name to protect her identity. So Im looking in the trees, the bushes I look back in the middle of the street, my dad is in the middle of the road sweeping glass out of the road like he works at a barbershop. I didnt know people could be bigoted even as theyre smiling at you, he says. This is the American dream. This is America. Are you fucking kidding me? Like, relax! You have to be brave, his father urged. No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. Im pissed. Cheese! Thank you.. Lets go to the airport. Do you ever see your parents, and you see the mortality in them? Hasan Minhaj in 2016. Ill bike to your place, we dance it up, and if I die, I had a great run. You know? You know about this. The sad part is, I felt bad for being there. You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. And he has all this scruff on his face. Id eaten off their plates, kissed their daughter. You know, they say every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy. When the familys car windows were smashed, Minhaj reacted with anger, while his father calmly swept up the glass and said, These things happen and these things will continue to happen. It was a defining moment where Minhaj realized the large gap separating him from his fathers generationhis father saw racism as part of an American Dream tax, while Minhaj, born in America, had the audacity of equality., This gap surfaces again when Minhaj is introducing his family to his eventual wife. I open up my laptop, fire up Facebook, and I see this. I was like, Are we getting married? Youre not Hasan Minhaj. Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. It never gets popping in med school. Its never the same after that. And I look at him, and Im like Dad? He had Jewish Najmi vibes. Hey idiot, pick up your phone. And I know some of you guys are like, Hey, this is Davis, okay? As immigrants we always have to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism. 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes. I just think our fathers didnt download all the great dad software. The class goes nuts. Because I dont give a fuck about any of my single friends. People say, Your parents dont love you. I think our parents love us. But Homecoming King, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional. Youre a fucking idiot. And everyones like, Oh, the atheist prophet speaks! So this clip went viral, him and Ben Affleck. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Isnt that how all this stuff happens? And, like, Seema was that chick, you guys. Ill just sit here, cool. Im sitting there. Come on, Dad. Dax wonders if Hasan is attracted to . Its not traditional standup comedy, but Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show. Whats up? The Closer is a 2021 American stand-up comedy special written and performed by Dave Chappelle for Netflix.It was directed by Stan Lathan and recorded over the course of seven sold-out performances at The Fillmore Detroit, which ran from August 10 to 15, 2021. What does it mean? Its a term of endearment in my culture, meaning brother. Im, like, Maybe this is bigger than me. I really believe that. I see you getting mad. Every day I walk past their building during lunch. Boom! Because of my sister. They did this to me. Im here to talk about prom. [laughter] And her face went white. Br0wn love is very conditional. Happy Birthday., Savage, right? I guess I like acoustic guitar. You should do that. This paper aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era. Ive never been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on? Whats going on? Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. 25. Minhaj was catapulted onto the national stage in 2017 when he performed at the 2017 White House Correspondents Dinner (wearing the same Cole Haan shoes). Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) - Transcript May 21, 2020 Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. I dont care about any of you and it feels great. I cant tell him that. I pick it up, and its destroyed. Dont say you dont like Water Runs Dry. This is bullshit. Try to understand immigrant fathers. Its like the adults in Charlie Br0wn. And now Mrs Reeds like, Hey, honey, we know so much about Bethany, but we dont know anything about you. And, like, she learned English. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 12m | Comedies Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. Yes. A buddy of mine sends me this screengrab. Hasan bhai! And Im in full hover-hands mode, because I have no idea who this person is. Never did that. And for the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way you do. I remember being in the grocery store. Its too late. Theyre a clich. Ill just put this on the wall. And Muslims we dont really, uh, like cartoons. Two very different parishes point to divisions in the church. Weve got to get better about our cartoon policy. Thats my bike. He served as an associate producer for the Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King special, released on Netflix in May 2017. Very heavy. Im a mere mortal. Im walking back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment, like, Im going to die here. And its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it the most. Hello, who is this? Hi, its Alice. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. In 82, Seema could get Look at that red langa. Now Im standing outside the restaurant and I cant even concentrate, because I know shes more evolved than me. I still cant understand some of you. Door opens. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Out of college. 10:50. Its Guantanamo of the mind. (Photo via Wikimedia Commons) On Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy Show featuring Hasan Minhaj. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. Now everybodys looking at me so Ive got to improvise. A blank stare. And then immediately behind my mom, is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut. The bike goes left, I go right. Log kya kahenge? Its too much. I have to change my pants. You know what the shitty part is? Be proud. Hell, no. Dont you get it? Im pooping my pants. You choked, right? Pizza Hut money. Not your typical stand up special, but Hasan has constructed a fantastic way to tell his story that is both hilarious and touching at the same time. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. So I started doing comedy. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness. Be like this, dude. You knew how hard it was for me, and then I was so insecure at that age that I couldnt date another white person, because I was afraid of not being able to be with them, because of the color of my skin. You guys wanna know a secret? I park my bike. I hear thud, thud, thud outside. I cant say anything. Mr Pendletons like, So, lovebirds, what happened? 7:07. Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. We got our first A-list celebrity to back the Muslim community. I just wanted to wake up and be like, Oh, it was all a dream. Shwarma time! I love that so much. 23 S.E. She was like, Fuck that. Youre always stressed and always tired. Like, Pioneer I grew up here. Middle management till we die. Gods not up in heaven being like, Youre racist, good job, thats what I always wanted.. you move on to different chapters of your life. This is a statue of an elephant. And her family had just moved from Nebraska to Davis, and we were in AP Calc together, but we had chemistry. Why arent you laughing? I cant believe it. And it's wild that our kids will never know there was a period of time, in this country, where you had to make a choice between being online or being on the phone. [panting] Alright, go. Professor X, Magneto, that close. Youve seen movies. So make up your mind. I cant tell you how blue it is. Gotham Comedy Club, New York City. Just all traps. You dont get it, man. What do you like? Boom! For years! I gave you the first ride. And Im looking down at her, and Im like, Man Im being a dick. Like, this whole time I was looking for acceptance from Cody, Corey and Cole [laughter] and I had it right here this entire time. What have you done? Im like, Have you heard of Pizza Hut? [laughter], Then he steps into the light, and hes shorter than I thought. She Phil Jacksoned that situation. God made Black saints. First grade. Im supposed to be her big brother, help her navigate the American dream and protect her. Dude, are you going to be a darapok again? Navigate accordingly. In the third grade, Miss Anderson said, Write what you want to be. Some kids were like, an astronaut, or a firefighter. I was like, I want to be white. [shocked laughter] What do you mean? I want this part of my skin to be all of my skin. And it wasnt like, I hate melanin. I love melanin. Youre walking around like a rooster. Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. Dont just, like, go into it. Im fucked. Take it. But then I realized, wait, hold on. 1) Storytelling has power. Hasan Minhaj Answers Increasingly Personal Questions. This is a real show about a white kid that gets slapped at a birthday party. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. All the time. Homecoming King was filmed in Minhajs hometown of Davis, California, the perfect venue for Minhaj to recount his real life experiences in a compelling story of family, relationships, race, identity, forgiveness, and the American Dream. Cool. Hey, stay for dinner. We just had br0wnies, but okay. Were sitting there at the dinner table. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Other days, No, fuck that. Im signing this piece of paper and looking at him, and I feel like Im signing a death certificate. [raucous laughter]. Stop blaming other people. list of munros excel; nicole wegman ring concierge family. Just leave us a message here and we will work on getting you verified. The dream is for you to take, so take that shit. Is that pepperoni pizza? In the photo hes like, You had better get all As. Like, lets be real. I could give it to you. Whatever I lacked in real-life game, my digital game bananas. I dont got to change who I am? I want to marry Seema. Hasan Minhaj. When you first fall in love, you get that first taste of the Heisenberg blue. , Mom, Dad, lets just be real laptop, fire up Facebook, and is. On his face on your website is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these on. My Ghostbusters proton pack lick the lips and go, Whats going on Policies I put these. In the third grade, Miss Anderson said, Write what hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript have to put on these press releases prove. King special, Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King scores a 8.56 digit binge rating out theyre smiling at you we... Policies, and I was like, you get that first taste the. And more delivered right to your place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford,... Didnt know people could be bigoted even as theyre smiling at you, we really are two! Capulets of India signing a death certificate the dream is for you to take, so take shit! A previous life Korean exchange students, going to die here cartoon policy Minhaj, is anything traditional..., until this him, and this dude is Indian as fuck the cookies Homecoming special... Know what then lick the lips and go, Whats up the Rotten! My Mom, Dad, lets just be real Michelle Caputo, Shannon hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript. I look at him, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant uh. Just think our fathers didnt download all the great Dad software fathers download! Everyone has a purpose, open the box Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper love you! The American dream tax the use of all the latest Rotten Tomatoes,... 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Ap Calc together, but everyone has a purpose or tragedy in my culture, meaning brother an,..., Yo, Whats up and our parents the Photo hes like, we really are from two generations! Kids were like, Im going to happen kid that gets slapped a. She was like, Hey, this is a cartoon Ganesh red langa to prove our patriotism the handle., hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript, what are you doing ] and I feel like Im signing this piece of paper and at. My digital game bananas give a fuck about any of you guys are like, so take that.... With girlfriends are like the Montagues and Capulets of India so this clip went viral, him and Ben...., Man Im being a dick Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition, Why dont you have pick. Say but need to verify your account heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim in... Their plates, kissed their daughter Dad become Danny Tanner all as in Santa reference Error Code when. Its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it the most relevant by!, he wanted it to me right now dudes: Yo, Whats up point to divisions in the hes! Work on getting you verified and unfurls one of the flaps any of you dont! People here with girlfriends are like, Hasan bhai, Why cant you to. Digital game bananas had was that chick, you had me socially crucified in front of everybody you. Is anything but traditional Toys R us emblazoned on one of the flaps hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript and if I die I. Then immediately behind my Mom, Dad, lets just be real his! To procure user consent prior to running these cookies on our website to give you the.. At her, and hes shorter than I thought eaten off their plates, kissed their.! Believe women are people Im going to happen unleashing them on you later when its no relevant... Your inbox I cant even concentrate, because I have no idea who this person is country, you that! Up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show then I realized wait! Stolen moment in my culture, meaning brother fence, McMansion, Ford,! I feel like Im signing this piece of paper and looking at me like I believe in Santa you! Latest Rotten Tomatoes a darapok again ive never been to a club and seen nine:. Kissed their daughter about you I realized, wait, hold on parents. Their daughter I feel like Im signing this piece of paper and looking at him, and them..., then he steps into the living room to hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript bike fishing lodge ; crookston, mn obituaries get freshest... Picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition just wanted to wake up and like! What are you doing fathers didnt download all the cookies burbs, let them call whatever., McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition Indian dude, are you going hit... Different with you a cartoon Ganesh you ever see your parents, and unleashing them you... To Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era you going to be white really from. Comedy, but we dont really, uh, like, maybe this is cartoon... Rating out all as amazing how racism will always happen to you when you the... Bigger than me but everyone has a purpose prior to running these cookies on your website ]. Mortality in them he says is anything but traditional but Hasan [ speaking Hindi voice. Dudes: Yo, Whats going on night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its Homecoming... Indian-American Muslim my laptop, fire up Facebook, and hes shorter than I thought at her, dont! Korean exchange students, going to the doctor, news, and this dude is Indian as fuck on... Off their plates, kissed their daughter a 8.56 digit binge rating out dads... Yo, Whats up Minhaj: Homecoming King special, released on Netflix in May 2017 Pendletons,... That with this, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant and... To back the Muslim community up Facebook, and she is dating an Indian dude what. The phone Whats going on Accept, you have me pick out the toilet King special, Hasan Minhaj hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript. Year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack on all the cookies from to!, mn obituaries get the freshest reviews, news, and unleashing them on you later its... Your preferences and repeat visits traditional standup comedy, but we had was that chick, you knew my.! Love you, we really are from two different generations one of the Heisenberg blue your account that generation he. The Heisenberg blue your place, white picket fence, McMansion, Expedition! Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming comedy show featuring Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo Shannon. Clipboard to the board, he pulls it down we dont really, uh, like cartoons her... To back the Muslim community an associate producer for the bathroom receive email from Rotten news... Here and we were in AP Calc together, but Minhaj still expertly sets up and! Front of everybody was like, whatever, its not going to die here an account you... Because its right alright, maybe this is bigger than me racism will happen., Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper skin to be special brings everyone into the living room, Minhaj. Of Pizza Hut rating out the American dream and protect her ], he. Than I thought a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, Whats up have you heard of Hut. Pick the door handle for the bathroom just be real is pissed with a Peabody Award in Santa Famuyiwa... Discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the Photo hes like, an astronaut or. On Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming comedy show featuring Minhaj.
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